what's french for good kisser?
by prince kouha
Summary: Whenever he plays that stupid old cliche game of spin the bottle, he lands on Jade every time. -oneshot, too sappy for its own good-


Whenever he plays that stupid old cliche game of spin the bottle, he lands on Jade every time.

Maybe it's fate, maybe it's destiny, or maybe it's just John messing with the bottle through his weird connection with the wind, but every time you and your little group of buds play a wretched game of spin the bottle, you kiss Jade at least once.

Of course, it's not just Jade. You've pecked Terezi plenty of times, that huge bitch Vriska Serket John used to have crush on too, and some other girls and even boys have snuck their way on your lips (Karkat threw a fit and you and Sollux rinsed out your mouths) but whether it's first, middle or end, you always have to kiss that science nerd with the big green eyes. Not that you mind, of course. Jade's one of your best friends and great to go to if you need some cheering up, and macking with her is usually pretty fantastic. Every time, she always greets you with this shy little grin that pulls on your heartstrings a little, says something along the lines of "let's get this over with cool kid!" and her lips taste like a saccharine blend of strawberry and Heaven. You don't know how Heaven tastes like, but you had to choose between all the things you've tasted, you'd say Jade's lips are the closest.

Like you said, you really don't mind kissing Jade in spin the bottle. It's just kind of awkward since you might have a tiny crush on her.

You're at Terezi's house for a party, and Gamzee spikes the punch as per usual. You can hold your liquor alright, a trait you and Rose inherited from your mother, but nothing can be said for the Egbert-Harley cousins who can get wasted from just a sip. Speaking of Egbert, John's face is slightly flushed from a glass of Vriska's hard Russian vodka. Goddamn spider bitch trying to seduce your best friend. You glance casually over at Jade, who's giggling slightly and talking to Tavros, and make a mental note to make sure she does nothing stupid.

You don't know who mentions the game, but you're pretty sure it's Vriska, and you're all so used to it that no one even complains anymore. Nepeta still holds a giddy look for every time it's mentioned, probably because of the relationship shenanigans that she loves very much to keep up on, and maybe for the chance that Karkat will kiss her. That cat girl's a little love struck, and although you can hardly fathom why it's for Shouty McGrumpGrump, you can feel sympathy since you're in the same place.

Vriska's bottle that got half of the party drunk is being used, and all of you congregate around the thing like a flies to a garbage can. You take a spot next to your best bro and Terezi for your comfort zone, while Jade is situated across from you still chatting with Tavros and next to Feferi, who is also another one of her good friends. You feel a slight pang of jealousy in you; not just because of Tavros, but Jade is easily able to make new friends while you feel as if you're a leech clinging onto your friends for safety. Tavros is also another one of your friends, but you just can't really seem to talk to him often.

Your thoughts are ceased when Vriska stands up, flips her blonde hair and begins to talk about the rules you've already known about since the first time you've played. In your group, whoever receives the long end of the bottle after someone spins is the victim of the kiss, and the girl continues to say things that you've heard before. You boredly glance around the room when you try your best to make "out of the blue" eye contact with Jade, and her green eyes lock with your shades. She sends you a beaming grin and shows her buck teeth that have bitten on your lip before when you played Seven Minutes in Heaven that one time (your friends really liked kissing games apparently, but spin the bottle was a favorite) and damn, that was one of the best feelings ever.

"We'll probably have to kiss again, huh, Dave?" she says, and you can barely hear her across Vriska and the others banter, but you strain your ears and manage a smirk that you hope makes her heart race like her effect on yours.

"You wish, Harley," you reply back and she rolls her eyes, but ceases action since Vriska's finally done insisting on explaining the rules again. She spins first and lands on Eridan, and you can feel the awkward in the atmosphere because of their little fling ending a long time ago. They kiss quickly and get off each other as fast as possible, and Eridan lets the bottle glide. You know he's wishing for Feferi, but he lands on Aradia, and maybe the kiss is a little too forceful and filled with a lot of pretend since you know he's probably fantasizing about her best friend.

Ironically, Aradia's spin lands on Feferi, and they squeak before Fef plants a small peck on her friend's red-glossed lips. You can see the smile on Sollux's face get a little wider, while Eridan's mouth goes agape. That usually happens with the girls especially.

The game progresses on quite uneventfully like you'd expect. Nepeta looks grossed out when she kisses Equius, while the latter is in bliss when Aradia gives him one. You make a quick one on Kanaya, who wrinkles her nose in distaste, while Rose makes a sarcastic comment about you stealing her girlfriend. You also kiss Karkat, who looks plenty disgusted, while you glare enviously at Sollux and hell even Vriska, who are the recepients of Jade's.

You wonder exactly when you're going to kiss her, and maybe this time there's not going to be a chance.

Sollux kisses both Aradia and Feferi through a stroke of luck, and you can feel Eridan seethe and wonder exactly when he'll finally pick a girl already. You get antsy when you see people are tiring of the game, and you can tell that everyone wants to stop after they get to John and Karkat. It's probably because John's tipsy but he's macking on Karkat like there's no tomorrow. Minutes fly by when Nepeta awkwardly tries to speak up, but John's not ceasing his action and Karkat isn't pushing him away.

You're pretty sure the anger-prone teenager didn't take a sip of anything, chuckling slightly to yourself at the prospect of Karkat having a crush on your silly best bro. Nepeta looks a little sad, and Equius puts an around around her like a best friend should.

"I suppose we are finished here," your sister speaks up, and what do you know, it's the first time since... well, ever, that you haven't planted one on Jade Harley since the beginning of middle school. You're not sure if you're relieved from the awkward tension, or if you're disappointed.

Most people seem to be making their leaves, and your sister looks at you to ask if you're riding with her while you shake your head. She nods and makes her way out with her girlfriend, while you linger on the couch and don't know why you've stayed. You talk to Terezi for a little before Nepeta pulls her away, probably to gossip about their Karkat feelings, and smirk when John finally pulls away. He's looking pretty woozy while Karkat's blushing very hard, and he runs to the bathroom while Jade hits her brother's face and asks him if he even knew what he did.

You both cackle with laughter when he asks, "Am I a homosexual?", revealing that maybe he's a little more sober than he thought.

The cousins are probably about to make their leave, and you decide it's now or never when you step up to talk to the girl with the long black hair and eyes that stay with you hours after you've seen them.

John seems to know that you want to chat with his cousin, and is off somewhere, presumably to find Karkat and discuss exactly what the hell just happened. You hope that in the end he'll be happy with what becomes, and are secretly relieved that this didn't happen with Vriska, although you suspect that she and Tavros might start a thing since she looked pretty happy after they made out.

"Hey there, Harley," you mock-sing, knowing that she thinks that song is kind of stupid and that she much rather prefers the Beatles and can play Blackbird on her bass by heart. You know a lot of things about that girl, much more than you'd like to admit, from sheer observation of being her friend for years and the desire to dig a little more, "What's it like in the Pacific?"

"I'm about to clobber you in the face, Dave," she shakes her head, but her tone is joking of course. You had jokingly serenaded her with that song you altered yourself, and she in return sang to you her own version of 'Till there was Dave' in attempt to annoy you. However, you secretly recorded it on your phone and listen to her voice go from high to low; she's not the best singer, but you still somehow think her voice is wonderful.

"Hey, anywhere but the face. Actually, preferably anywhere but above my shoulders and below my crotch. I need this here manhood for the ladies." She rolls her eyes while you gesticulate to the specified areas, making a "suave move" of a pelvic thrust that makes her laugh. Her cheeks are pink, you see, and you ponder if that's the effect of alcohol or if she put on too much blush.

She still looks lovely, of course, just a little flushed.

"Psh-aww!"

"Did you seriously say that?" you mutter while she laughs, and there's a little bit more tension than you'd like. It makes you feel insecure, but you try to suck it up for the girl with the glasses and the buck-toothed smile.

"Yes, I do, you got a problem punk?"

"Damn straight I do," you take a deep breath and hope you don't regret the next words, "Actually, to be honest, a little. Uh, we didn't kiss for once, in the game, you know... yeah..."

Her eyes widen a little and you swear her lips curve upwards, and it helps you feel secure that maybe she was just as disappointed as you. "Oh, so you were looking forward to kissing me, cool kid?"

"Girl, what are you talking about. That is some pretty crazy talk, the big man is staring you down in disbelief," you mutter, although there's probably a little blush on your cheeks, "It's just a little foreign since in every single game we've kissed."

There's silence for a little while, those words lingering in the air when finally she speaks up.

"Well, the game ended a little earlier because of John making out with Karkat..." she drawls out, some shining in her eyes. Or maybe you're just seeing things that you really would like, "So, maybe if they had cut their little act, we probably would have done a little smooching..."

"I don't think it was an act, Egbert and Vantas were going at it pretty hard. I was thinking that maybe the stork would pop out of no where to deliver their love child." You grin slightly when she giggles at your joke, and your brain tells you that you can do this.

"Yeah... So, maybe we should get our mack on. You know, in honor of the past games. It was bound to happen, anyway. My lips are like the holy grail, them peasants are all over that. Not like I'm saying you're a peasant of course."

She stares at you for a little bit, making you curse under your breath and wonder if you shouldn't have rambled. "Dave, did you just ask me to kiss you?"

Fuck. "Maybe."

There's a dreamy look in her eyes when she steps closer and gets rid of the space between you. You can feel her heart racing and yours is doing the same and even though you were nervous about mentioning it, you definitely don't regret this. Her skin radiates warmth that reminds you of the Texas sun, and maybe her face is flushed because of you and not just because of the drinks. When she tiptoes your noses bump, glasses touch, the atmosphere is a different kind of embarrassing but it's definitely not unpleasant.

The gap between your lips diminishes as the seconds go by, but in order to ruin the mood you decide to say, "Pucker up, Harley."

She giggles against your mouth and does so, soft lips on yours, and you wonder why it took you so long to do this. Her arms find themselves around your neck and one wanders up to your hair, while you embrace her and hands firmly planted on your hips. The kiss isn't so awkward since you've done it before, but the sparks still fly and her mouth still tastes like heaven like those many times before.


End file.
